Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Discipline
One thing i am gonna talk briefly about: disciplining a child.
Today, while taking the train home, i overheard this guy talking on the phone to his friend. At first, it was about his business and other mundane stuff. But then the topic shifted to something that really pulled at my heartstrings.
The man happily told his friend that the day before, he went one step further in his disciplining of his child, presumably a young girl. He commented that she often threw tantrums, and grew rebellious. He also said that she could scratch him (from this i conclude the girl's about 8-10 years old..), and so he found that he was at his wit's end trying to control her. So, for the first time, he used a cane and caned her hard. He even commented that he made it extra painful so she would remember the pain. And also boasted that the cane marks remained for about 3 days afterward.
I was so disgusted and angry that i felt like just rebuking the man right there. But then i thought against it and decide to pen my feelings down instead.
Caning an innocent and growing child is inhumane and evil, even if it is done with good intent. For grown adults who know better than to rape and cheat and steal, fine. BUT any parent who resorts to using a cane against his/her child is desperate and sadistic. AND to parents who utilise worse methods of punishment, like making your child eat chilli, you are even worse and do not deserve a place on this Earth, and a parenting role. Since you love your child so much that you can bear to punish him/her like that, why dont you do the same thing for yourself, in exactly the correct adult dosage so that you would feel the trauma that your dear child goes through when you mercilessly tower over him/her and whack him/her repeatedly, ignoring his/her cries to stop, and only really stopping when you feel tired? This especially goes out to all parents who make their children eat chilli, and other sick and dastardly methods of so called discipline. Lucky thing i never experienced that.
To all parents and future parents, DONT USE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IN YOUR HOME. Trust me. Your child will grow to despise that side of you that chose to cane them. They will never forget. Furthermore, violence begets violence. When one party dominates the other for so many years, once the other party gains an upper hand,
you will be the one dominated, and your reign will come to an end. In other words, if your child grows stronger than you,
you are in deep trouble.
So. don't ever use the cane. unless you are uneducated, unintelligent, unstable as a person, and overreactive. In the same way you would not give your child 100 tablets of Panadol a day when he/she falls sick, DONT CANE HIM/HER. More harm is done than good.
So, what should you do? Well, anything. Except something that involves lifting a finger against your child. Reasoning through creative and effective means to make a child learn what is right and wrong is always good. Setting a good example will gain the respect of your child, and you will find your child treating you as a friend and confidante, even when in tumultuous teenage years. Instead of treating you as a distant character from whom secrets should be hidden. What could be better??..
ps. this is just half of the original post. *clue clue*
jOhn thought at 3:22 PM