Thursday, March 27, 2008
fUzzyyY!
The night roads stretched far ahead, and he floored the gas, causing the car to lurch forward obediently.
At such an unearthly hour, other motorists were few and far between, and asphalt lay before like a yellow ocean beckoning him home.
His heart ached with insatiable longing, and all the mighty burdens of the day seemed to disappear with each second that passed until he could hold her in his arms once again.
He cranked up the radio; those cruel love songs streamed ceaselessly out, causing him to cringe with a little more sadness than just before...
"There we sat,
High above gentle waves,
Darkness all around,
and only her in my eyes..."
You mean the world to me, don't you know?
I love you. :)
jOhn thought at 4:22 PM
Monday, March 17, 2008
BLOOD.
Today I tried donating blood.
and HOLY CRAP it was painful.
Now I know why they need to send out alll those ads promoting blood donation so that more people will come. Its PAINFUL la.. They need to draw about 450ml of blood.. Which is like one Ice Mountain bottle of dark red liquid! Which you can see as it flows out of you in transparent plastic tubes!
They led me over to a reclined bed, and told me to stay still. The nurse saw my 'I am a first time donor' sticker on my shirt, and tried her best to smile at me.
The nurse went away for a while, and came back with this innocent-looking transparent white bag, and when her hand moved, I saw the needle! I didnt know they made needles that big! Whoalao it's almost like a pencil! Forget your BCG or Hep B or NS medical checkup or all that nonsense. This needle's at least 5 times that width! Because it's meant to draw out ur blood efficiently, and not merely inject stuff into you.. needs to have a good flOw...
I was shaking already. I tried to steady myself, and tensed up, when the nurse told me to relax. HOW TO RELAX SIA? ITS LIKE A METAL STRAW LEI. So I complied, my hand feeling totally weak.
I cringed as the unbearable pain shot through my arm when she pushed the needle in. then everything was numb, and the blood started flowing... its so cool. like dark red and all.. and it slowly fills up the white bag.. and you can see bubbles bouncing about as more blood from you fills the bag.. looked almost like wine..
At the end I felt faint.. my vision became 'grainy' and my hearing felt.. 'numbed'.. like only can hear 60% of the usual volume.. worse than when you've just been out of a hardcore rock concert.
Altogether I had 3 injections lor.. the first for blood test, second for anaesthisation, and the third for drawing the blood itself. The most painful is when they insert the thick needle into your flesh.. you can feel the metal piercing your human tissue.. it's like a very intense sharp pinch that twists your flesh left and right when it tunnels into your arm.
So after she took the needle out, they gave me a bandage. Mm. its a happy green colour with smiley faces on it. Well. Nice consolation. Oh the goodie bag also has a cap, sports water bottle, New Moon essence, tidbits, and mineral water.
Note:
Everything above is false!
Except for the goodie bag contents. That's true.
Blood donation is really painless.
Because they use a HUGE amount of anaesthetic.
I couldn't even feel it when the needle went in/came out.
Believe the advertisements!
Save a life! =)
jOhn thought at 2:56 PM
Saturday, March 15, 2008
He sat at his study,
lit only by the dim yellow of the desk lamp.
Outside rang the crickets' unceasing song,
and the cool night that shrouded them all.
Scrolling through the tiny little words,
on that tiny little screen,
He stuttered as he drew a breath,
barely able to grasp the phone...
Angel, you know, at night, whenever you look up at the sky...
It's that very same night sky im gazing at, too...
jOhn thought at 4:00 PM
Friday, March 14, 2008
Haha.
Haha!
Itsy-bitsy green cake,
sitting on my lamp...
He looks like he's edible, but ac-tually he's not..
And Itsy-bitsy green cake,
still sitting on my lamp!
Hm I'm mad already. =)
jOhn thought at 5:09 AM
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
=((
jOhn thought at 4:15 PM
RJC.
"Ivy League Machine"
jOhn thought at 4:00 PM
Monday, March 03, 2008
Competition.
jOhn thought at 11:18 PM
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Lot.
Sometimes, I look at other people's lives, and marvel at how different they are from mine.
Blogs are very vivid portraits of people, and you can tell a lot about a person from his/her blog. And once a person blogs, a little bit more of him/her becomes a public exhibit to the world. Yea.
ANYWAY.
And I compare my blog and their's, with all their grainy pictures of dark nightclubs, funny cool poses and other general cam-whoring.
And it strikes me at how, no matter how interesting I find their life is when compared to mine,
I'd never ever be like them.
Its not that I don't want to.
Its that I can't.
I can't do the things they do,
or say the words they say.
Ive got so much in my life to look after and tend to, things that are so different from what other people treasure.
Ive got a school to go to, loved ones to watch over, my future to protect, that doing anything not subservient to those ultimate goals seems so trivial and stupid.
Stupid, but tempting.
So I allow myself a few crazy stuff here and there,
and when I play I play kinda.. hard. Haa~.
But never as much as these people.
Never so much that it becomes a lifestyle.
So perhaps that's my lot in life,
that i'd always be the same, but different.
That i've been forced to grow up (so) fast that sometimes I want to be a child again.
And so I guess that's the title of today's post.
Actually most of this was written almost 6 months ago, but was only saved as a draft until now.
It was written when I met this girl from TP at a group survey, and checked out her blog, in which she talked on end about her happy-go-lucky life, clubbing practically everyday and hanging out with her many girlfriends every day. I felt a pull on my heart. Is it normal to live life like that? Must you do exactly the same things before others consider you to be cool? If you don't do that, will you automatically be seen as an average invisible nerd?
Recently also, I caught up with an ex-classmate of mine who went to SP's business IT course. Back in secondary school he was retained for one year in sec 3, and when i first met him we often fought alot, pushing each other over chairs and tables. But soon we became casual friends. He told me about his experiences here in poly.. Said he clubbed 6 times a week, was an ambassador for Nightlife.sg, had lotsa flings with many girls, and even has a police record for doing really stupid stuff while drunk. I compared what I had to what he had. We were like on two different planets. I wonder, does he envy what I have? In fact, do I envy what hE did?
And so I reflected on my own, reflected on where I've been, where I am, and where I am going. I wonder who I will still have beside me in 10 years' time. What will I say about myself at the next class reunion? Could it all boil down to what you want in life? You get what you wish for. It once again came to this zero-sum conclusion...
To each his own.
..
..
..
..
I think soon I will need to change myself. Self image. New clothes.
Change!
jOhn thought at 3:29 PM