Sunday, June 05, 2005
Lamentations of a young adult
Scary isnt it? when we have to face this big scary world, hoping and praying that what you know and possess will be enough to prevent the big jumbled mess out there from swallowing you alive and never spitting you out. Who will be with us, showing us the way, teaching us priceless fragments of knowledge that may make or break our fragile existence..
Isn't childhood beautiful? Where everything around us was new and so mind-bogglingly amazing, just seemingly begging to be questioned and discovered. When we channelled our feelings and love towards things which now seem so trivial and unimportant, like maybe a pet or a toy or even a favourite bolster which we hugged to sleep every nightfall.
Our worlds were limitless, and all we needed to do was think, and whatever we thought could come into existence. We could breathe life into a seemingly messy pile of Lego bricks, or imagine the most chaotic wartime scenario with our motley assortment of crude toy tanks. Back then war seemed so fun and harmless, where we merely shrugged off a hit from a rubber bullet from a friend's toy gun. We didn't yet know the horrors of war. Tanks and ships and jets were just so cool that they often begged to be blown or shot up..
And in a flash, everything is gone, and we are on the fast track, through 3 stages of school, and into what? The universal rat race, of course. Of course, not many people seem to give a hoot, and wait till they have wasted away most of their lives before taking time off for a breather, finally realising that their illustrious career is just a mere illusion, tricking them to believe they were going somewhere, and actually doing something, when actually they were running around in circles, not realising we are actually running faster after completing every lap, so as not to become a failure and live life as a beggar who is looked down upon and given a disdainful glance by people who
think they are better off.
What do we desire in life? Time's just an illusion.. no? We are always chasing something, studying for some exams, or preparing for something on the distant horizon. Goals are challenging and rewarding to chase, but they are an endless path, with no fullstop, only commas.
Where will we go? Who will we know? What will we do?... 30 years from now, would you still have the dignity to face your secondary school classmates that were all once on a level playing field.? Would we still be able to say we lived a life well led and didn't screw up our 90-or-so years, of which 17 are already gone for good?
Isn't it a joy when you know people? But the sad fact is people come and go, and what are once powerful and strong friendships can simple sublime into thin air, leaving only memories or a memento of a time that's buried deep inside the swirling fallen sands in our life's hourglass.
Won't it be wonderful when we can find an end? When we can meet everyone we've known so far, and those we don't know, but made an impact in our lives, pulling strings for us in the shadows ("Hi, i'm the guy that crashed my car into a tree when i swerved to avoid you standing in the middle of the road, as a clueless little boy. I died on the spot 80 years ago. You, however, survived to a ripe old age. But i love you anyway."...) . Its a place where we can hug and cry and reminisce and repay our debts; where we can be on good terms with everyone, and have no enemies; where we can have people that hang around us with no malicious intent, where we do not need to strive to impress others, and no masks are needed, and we do not need to work our butts off or stress ourselves out.
Well, till that day, lets all keep studying and working hard and hoping for the next paycheck raise and clamouring for the next vacation or holiday where we get a shockingly temporary respite from the madness. Smilez, Life is happy =)
Its a wonderful thing, to be lost in music, oblivious to the insane racket of noise around me, swaying/nodding to the addictive winsome reverie of a soothing tune churned out by a sleek magic piece of blue aluminium (Ipod mini duh..), while everyone else on the train has to worry about their life, and i take a timeout to sit back and relax, savouring the different dimension i am in, before Dover MRT shakes me awake and dumps me back into the river rapids...
My its good to get a little crazy sometimes =)Smilez, Life is happy =)
Good children are bad children who don't get caught. Hmmm..
jOhn thought at 1:37 PM
