Saturday, April 01, 2006
Latest News Headlines!
George W. Bush converts to Islam, joins Al-Qaeda in the fight against 'immorality', encourages fellow Americans to follow likewise.
North Korean nuclear powerplant workers accidentally cause Chernobyl-style meltdown, Western media mocks Koreans' "sheer stupidity" and urges them to give up nuclear program, saying that "yellow skin Asians should no play with big boom booms".
Pamela Anderson ascends California's highest political position as Governor of California, succeeding Arnold Schwarzenegger. Millions of blonde jokes flood the Internet.
Celebrities hold electoral campaigns for political positions. Conservatives decry situation as an "invasion of mindless sex-driven Hollywood personalities".
U.S. Nevada Desert nuclear missile silo detonates, North Korea sends consolatry Rafflesia flowers with smiley faces in possible reference to U.S. media's mockery of an earlier North Korean nuclear accident. U.S. media cries foul, cites possible North Korean sabotage.
Chinese introduced as compulsory second language in all American and European Union educational instituitions, 'Global commercial compatibility' reasons cited. (Oh, the horror!!)
Island nation of Singapore's ruling political party dethroned after 50 years in power. "Political Expiration" reasons cited by general public. Academics and political analysts say that development is "long overdue" and likened to the fall of Rome.
Pesky tertiary students demand more civil liberties and free speech rights, media and adults snubs them out as "intellectual juvenile hooligans who don't know where their place in society is". Many agree.
jOhn thought at 6:27 AM
