Monday, October 02, 2006

Growing Up = ?

How do you know when someone is grown up?

Its when that person can be turned off/disgusted by an action, instead of just things.

In chinese, it's probably called 'dong3 shi4'.

You see, when we are just children who don't know better, we only can feel negative feelings towards objects or emotion.

Why do we hate caning? Because it is painful.
Why do we cover our noses in the toilet? Cos its smelly.
Why do we hate our greens? Cos they don't taste nice.
Why do we hate cockroaches? Cos they are big, black, and fast-moving, with poky exoskeletons.

Its simple. Innocent children learn about the world around them through their senses. But as they grow older, parents and friends start to teach them the 'ways of the world'.

Don't do this, don't do that.
Why?
Because its wrong.
Why?
Because I said so and I'm your mom.
Why?
Because my mom said so too.
Why?
Because it would hurt you.
Why? What if I'm careful?
Because God would strike you down with a lightning bolt and you'll become charcoal. Ha! That's why.

By age 7, they develop a conscience, a sense of right and wrong. And their tongues spit fire, condemning, denouncing and criticising everything that does not agree with this sense of right and wrong. The criticisms only get more intense and powerful once they become more fluent in language. KEEP SUCH PEOPLE STUPID, I SAY. A SERPENT WITHOUT A TONGUE CANNOT DAMAGE ANYONE. Haha.

The result is every one of us, based on our religion, family and friendships, grow up with unique sets of moral values. The most extreme cases live, pathetically, inside shells of inhibition, not being able to do the things they want to do, simply because 'it's wrong to do so.' Yet, in all their invisible, senseless and baseless barriers, they try to somehow find satisfaction and meaning, all while knowing that there can be none, and the cold hard fact is that they are being limited and weighed down by outdated teachings and 'traditional' values. They find out what they can do, do it, and derive pseudo-satisfaction from there, however pathetic, paltry and incomplete that amount is.

What kind of a life is that?

What happened to the childhood spirit of exploration?

Becoming worldly-wise is important. It is to know the ways of the world, how you should conduct your relationships, the workings of a human mind, etc. But, most important is to keep up with the times, and not to get left behind. Only then can you stay relevant and associated with modern society.

How can one become worldly wise if they are cooped up in a shelter that is built on the words and practices of men already long dead, men already no more than dust returned to Earth?

Do not let tradition hinder you. Have an open mind, and an open heart. Yes, guard your heart; it is the wellspring of life. But do not be so paranoid and condemning of the world around you that everything they do is wrong and damning in your eyes. Your eyes, your isolated, solitary pair of eyes.

Never condemn any action unless you understand the reasons behind that action. This 'understanding' can range from personal experience (the most effective - e.g. ex-drug offenders have the highest chance of changing the lives of current drug offenders because they share common ground, rather than some know-it-all who blabs about all he's read, dangers of drugs and all, and does not know a single thing about the actual, local reasons behind drug abuse), to even good friends with good characters who do the same deeds. The 'questionable actions' can refer to things like teenage smoking/drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, and tons of any other weird, debatable stuff one can think up of.

Whoever this message may impact, may it sink in well.

jOhn thought at 1:30 PM